spring will come someday and that is a fact - charlie's newsletter
hi everybody.
i hope you're all doing well <3 it's winter, which feels permanent, but apparently technically isn't..................................................? we'll see. i've been investing a lot into the little rituals of maintenance that keep me alive and give me something to do as i wait for april. if you want to kill approximately four seconds, putting on chapstick is an amazing way to go. if you really go at it you can probably knock out like, 30 at least. if you need a longer diversion, get a really thick moisturizer, which, if you play your cards right, can pretty much thoroughly obliterate you for a good thirty minutes as you struggle to saturate ur dry knuckles. the dream, obviously, is to be unconscious and wet <3
upcoming shows
Tuesday, January 29 / 9:30pm – Can I Ask You Something? (61 Local – free!)
Nadia Pinder is a truly dynamite performer. you may have seen her last month at Stacy where she absolutely slayed. this time i'm on HER show where i will perform and then be asked questions about the super bowl, something which, if i can help it, i will have no knowledge of beyond a dislike of tom brady. come through!!
Wednesday, January 30 / 8pm – Cabernet Cabaret (Club Cumming – free!)
Cabernet Cabaret is Catherine Cohen's weekly show at Club Cumming, this week guest hosted by Pat Regan. it's a cabaret, so in theory i should sing................ so i will because i can. i can sing and therefore i will. i don't have any specific songs to sing so i will probably just write like broad platitudes and sing those. "it is sad that time only goes forwards," stuff like that
Thursday, January 31 / 7pm - Everyone's Cancelled (8-Ball Community, 327 Canal St. – free!)
this is a charity show but i don't know for what. technically elite private universities are non-profits so maybe the money made here will be donated to yale, hard to say. i don't know much about 8-ball besides the fact that it seems so cool and that my friend carly does stuff with them sometimes. what's fun is that the place i was born and lived until i was 15 was a block away from the venue
Wednesday, February 6 / 8pm – My Hometown (Union Hall – $6)
a show where everyone talks about where they are from. i am sort of famously from new york city, and am going to talk about the apartment i grew up in in chinatown/soho, where a mouse once fell from the ceiling onto my bed. i'm actually rly excited for this i'm gonna make a powerpoint.
Thursday, February 7 / 8pm – Stacy (Rebecca's Bar – free!)
stacy <3 <3 <3 <3 come thru to stacy. it's the show i host with caroline doyle and marissa goldman, and it is the most fun i have all month every month. this month we have: Solange Azor, Caitlin Dullea, Marcia Belsky, Kelly Cooper, Dan Licata, and Sydnee Washington. pls come <3
Sunday, February 10 / 8pm – Future Forms (Alphaville – free i think)
this show will be fun! idk who's on lineup, but some real icons Mary Houlihan, Joe Rumrill, Julio Torres, and Sam Taggart.
Monday, February 18 / 8pm – [show at C'Mon Everybody] (C'Mon Everybody – $5????)
someone instagram DM'd me to ask me to be in a show at C'Mon Everybody on February 18th, cohosted by Sherry Poppins (drag queen). idk lineup but i will bring my all and i actually think it's going to be great.
Saturday, February 23 / 10pm – Jenny's Birthday Show (Union Hall – $8)
again, dk lineup but this is a long-running Union Hall show that's been written up in Time Out a million time so like ya it's gonna be great.
other people's shows
Tuesday, January 29 / 7pm – The Kids are Ok, I Think - They are Doing Solo Shows (The Footlight – $5 suggested)
Marissa Goldman, Ian Lockwood, and Fareeha Khan—three luminaries of the Brooklyn comedy scene—are each presenting a half hour of new work. they're all really different and have different energies but are all bright and charismatic and i'm excited
Sunday, February 3 / 8pm – Ellen DeGenerous – I Simply Cannot Relate (Union Hall – $8)
ok... i cannot stop plugging this. i've seen so many iterations of this show and i'm thrilled to return each time. no one makes me laugh more than rachel. guaranteed to be one of the weirdest, most disturbing, and most fun comedy shows you see
Tuesday, February 12 / 8pm – Animal Show (The Well – $5)
three cutest hosts in the world. i love justin, but i also love maya. to piggy back off of that??? i love david. a true community, with a sensational lineup.
some content to watch
ok so to be completely honest the only media i have really thoughtfully consumed has been super smash bros (i like to play as the girl/cartoon characters and beat up the big men........sorry if that's simple). so instead, i'm sharing two videos by two creators i really look up to.
a) "What actually happens when gay guys see other gay guys and straight people aren't around." this is an old sketch by Brian Jordan Alvarez, who has a really masterful youtube channel. this is such a simple and dumb premise that is so expertly done that it blows me away every time. he also has a really really great and sweet and warm and funny web series called "The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo". it's about actors in LA (bear with me............................... bear with me.........) but it's so good
b) "pervert everything," by lorelei ramirez. i feel like i've maybe said this before (????) but lorelei ramirez is the most dynamic and exciting voice working right now and that is a fact NOT opinion...... adult swim asked them to do a special, and it captures their vision and how they are a pervert and how that is illegal.
some writing..... ok this is stupid i shouldn't even bother sharing [voices encouraging me to share it] ok here it is
Andrew Lloyd Webber Requests Funding For A Youth Chorus Non-Profit
Hi. I’m Andrew Lloyd Webber. You probably know me because I made a musical about what it would like to be a cat despite NO prior experience. I like the moon but I LOVE children singing. Please give me $10,000 and if you’re lucky I’m going to give some of it to my favorite children who sing .
Hi, I’m Andy Lloyd Webber (no relation to Charlie Weber from Buffy the Vampire Slayer………unfortunately). Music, for me, is the art of the air. I don’t have a ton of time to explain it, but if you blow air through a special tube it can play my favorite song Hot Cross Buns. Give me $14,000 so I can buy a Jetta and fill the air around me with songs. P.S. Is it okay for me to wear an ankh politically speaking?
Hi, I am Andrew Lloyd Webber – part-time composer and full time scamp. I’m currently with a kid who says that he can sing me the most perfect song in the world but he needs $8 to do it. Please please please please please I need this sooooooo bad. Just cram it in the envelope and bring it to the starbucks on 43rd and 9th any time between 4 and 8pm on Friday
Hi im Andrew Lloyd webber and I have a BIG problem and I need YOUR help. I just woke up and ALL of the grass on my lawn is WET!!!!!!! What the hell!!!!!!!! I have run the expenses and to fix this problem I need to buy towels but because I’m rich I need expensive towels and each one costs 325 dollars and I need 18 of them so I need $8000 which includes $5850 for the towels and then another $2000 for a Segway so I can go and buy them plus tax.
Hi im Andrew Lloyd webber and ahhhhghhh I can’t hear you over this infernal racket, oh what’s that? It’s not racket it’s MUSIC, that I wrote. I figure that the sooner I write music the sooner we can be done writing music and put an end to all of this nonsense and focus on what really matters to me: figuring out how cats work. Please give me 90 dollars so I can try the different frappucino flavors at the starbucks at 43rd and 9th from 4 to 8pm on friday where I work on music.
Hi im Andrew Lloyd webber actually no. Andrew Lloyd weber is my father’s name. call me pappa. Anyway pappa is hungry and there’s only one thing that can feed it and that’s right you guessed it: exactly 60 of those breakfast sausage links they serve at 7/11. They rotate it on steel rollers to make sure each side is equally hot. Usually they only have twenty or so at each 7/11 location so you’ll have to go to multiple locations probably. I’ll be waiting but not too long because I’m going skiing with my friends this weekend. im so excited!