Summer Dates

Romantic itineraries and upcoming shows

Hi everyone :)

I’ve decided to reactivate this long dormant newsletter. There are a few reasons for this decision. First, it’s a powerful lesson that you never know what’s going to happen and that you should never count anyone out. Second, I have a few shows I’d like to let you know about. Third, I saw the opportunity to seize the double entendre of “summer dates” to also write a little guide for anyone looking to plan a romantic day with bae in New York City while simultaneously promoting my own live comedy. It’s a foolproof scheme and

Summer Dates (Romantic)

I don’t currently have a bae right now, which is fine. It’s a noble way to be, and gives me more time for my main project of moving small items around my apartment and hanging out with my friends (Patrick etc.) That said, I’ve had baes before and will again, and the part of my mind that imagines cute stuff to do with bae is as active as ever, or perhaps even more active — sometimes having bae can lead to complacency, as Staying In and Watching Screen Together Limbs Interlaced is always a compelling option. So let me deliver you from that complacency. Here are some of my Summer Date ideas. This is genuine by the way. I should put pictures to make it more readable but I don’t have the time. My comedy shows at the end of the email!

> Coney Island Day

Coney Island has long been my main recommendation for tourists and New Yorkers alike. So many people haven’t been! Here’s my itinerary:

-Take the Q train down. The Q train is the dreamiest train in all of New York. It’s outdoors and scenic. It feels like the train in Spirited Away if you think about it in the right way.

-Ride the Cyclone. HELLO!!!! The Cyclone is the most fun you can have in New York genuinely. It’s completely safe (only three people have ever died on it in its almost 100 year history and they like stood up during the ride which you won’t do), and genuinely a well-designed roller coaster. Doing it with bae is perfect because shared scary experiences bring people together, scientifically (read this once and it also intuitively makes sense). 

-Walk around the park and the Boardwalk. This will give you tons of stuff to talk about, as there’s a lot of stimulus in the form of activities and people. Ride other rides if you want as well. There are tons of people there, especially in the summer, and it’s fun to watch. Get a spicy mango on a stick and sit on the pier and watch the families fishing. New York is amazing!!!!

-Go to Kashkar Cafe for Uygur food for dinner. Very delicious. Then you can walk around Brighton Beach, and go to the big supermarket there as well. God this is such a slam dunk of a day, I’m jealous of you guys and so happy you found each other. 

> Chinatown + LES

-My second main NYC recommendation is getting onigiri at Harper’s Bread Co., right off the Grand Street B/D stop. It’s cash only, and you and bae can then sit in the park watching people play handball. You can comment on who’s good on the court.

-After, you should get boba at the place Celeste and I went that one time. Can’t remember the name. I bet you’ll intuit it though.

-Buy the snail mucin serum by CosRX at Senti Senti. Not actually sure if this is romantic. I may be losing the plot, but I think you can figure out a way to make this work romantically. You can try on different stuff, which is sensual. God willing bae forgets to fully wipe in sunscreen and you point it out and they ask you to rub it in for them and you get to touch their face and it feels like a true thrill. I want that for you so bad.

-Mu favorite Chinatown restaurant right now is Noodle Village. The Thing to get there is the Beef Chow Fun. Get one beer each as well. 

-Get a couples Massage at Renew Day Spa II. Wait I’m jealous omgggg invite me! No don’t, I don’t think it’d be right.

> Red Hook

-Another gimme. Walk through Carroll Gardens. Get a sandwich at Court Street Grocer, then walk all the way to Valentino Pier. It’s so beautiful there! Stay all afternoon and watch the sunset over the Statue of Liberty. Get a drink at Sunny’s.

> Get Thee To The Cloisters

-This is a classic, but just go ahead and go to The Cloisters. It’s a beautiful scenic museum, and if you’re up for it, you guys should bike there. Come on, it’ll be sweet! Just push yourself and do it. The bike up Hudson River Park is so dreamy! Get an Electric Citi bike if you guys don’t have bikes. Once you get to Upper Manhattan it’s kind of amazing; it’s so hilly so it’s cool to walk around. Huge apartment buildings on big cliffs. 

-Get Dominican food at El Malacon

> Natural History Museum + Astro West

-There’s a new wing of the Natural History museum that’s supposed to be beautiful. It’s the Richard Gilder Center for Science – I heard the exhibits are kind of uninspired (I haven’t been) but that’s kind of a fun thing for you guys to discuss. In general, the museum’s a little outdated (and probably a little racist, if I’m remembering correctly) but if you steer clear of the anthropological stuff there’s good stuff to see. If you can get into the Hayden Planetarium, there used to be scales you could step on to see how much you would weigh on various celestial bodies. Not sure if that’s still there, I actually haven’t been since 2005. See the big blue whale while you’re there.

-Go to Astro West, right next to the museum, which is a gem and mineral store. They have some truly gorgeous high-end gems – like crazy opals or whatever for $40,000. They’re beautiful, and you can also joke to bae being like “I think I want that one!” or say something about getting married, though suss out the vibes on that before launching into marriage material. I can definitely pull it off at any stage of the relationship, but I’m built different, so just check in with yourself to see if it’s a good fit <3 

-Go to Fairway and get picnic food.

-Amble around Central Park and go to Belvedere Castle. How sweet is this :) It’s just you two in this big big city. Yayyyy

-Sit down on the grass somewhere and have the food from Fairway. Bring a blanket too actually if it’s not too late. 

Summer Dates (Charlie’s upcoming shows)

Tuesday, June 18, 8pm – A Little Chunk at PhilaMOCA (Philadelphia)

I’m doing my new hour of stand-up in Philadelphia. It’s so fun to perform in other cities – it really makes me feel like a Working Comedian. Not sure why that’s something I find particular satisfaction in, but I do. It feels like I’ve actualized a dream. Tessa Belle is opening for me! I can’t wait. There are a few tickets left so send to anyone you know in Philly I suppose.

Thursday, June 20, 10pm – I Have To Do This at Bell House

If you haven’t yet (or if you haven’t in a while), you must must must see Richard Perez’s phenomenal solo show at The Bell House. I’m biased because I directed it, but really he did all of it and I swear I’m being objective as fuck when I say it is the most exciting and moving and funny comedy in New York right now I swear to god no cap!!!!! I really believe Richard is a generational talent and I don’t know the next time he’ll do the show here. Bring a lover, bring a friend. Come see this spectacular show.

Sunday, June 23, 7:30pm – Exploration: LIVE! at the Bell House

You know it you love it. Natalie and I at the Bell House. The most fun you can possibly have at a comedy show. We have Tessa Belle and Clare O’Kane. I have some new material I’m excited about too. Legit this is the most fun show ever and I hope you come out!

Wednesday, July 3, 7:30pm – A Little Chunk at Union Hall

Doing my solo hour in New York! I’m really really excited about this project – it’s changed since last time, and last time was kind of a hit. If you didn’t see it then, see it now. I have Asha Ward and Joe Castle Baker opening.